Content

mmmmm, soooo gooooood. I'm sitting here finishing up my turkey sandwich and thinking about what to write, since this blog thingy desperately needs replenishing. I don't know what to write but I want to write, so I'm just going to let the blog take me away..... I want to change the name of my blog too, but I just came out of a comatose-like state of endless nothingness which some of my friends and I have referred to as "Christmas vacation with extended family". So, as I told Matt (about 47 times), my mind is blank. And when my mind is blank I get upset and depressed, because I'm not thinking about things (which is scary) and that drastically takes a toll on my physical and mental health because my mind and body need constant exercise. Sometimes I wonder why I need this, as there are plenty of overweight truckers that don't think at all and are perfectly happy and content. (thought this is topic of another blog as many a philosopher would agree that not being aware is naive not happy, that lifestyle would certainly put me in an asylum.)

(insert picture of trucker with slim jim in hand, here) I've got to figure out how to add pics!!!

But anyway, yes, I LIKE dwelling on everything. It used to get on people's nerves and I tried to tone it down, but all that did was make me cynical and bitter. In all fairness though, it got on people's nerves because I was young and felt like I knew how to questions things and I challenged, no DEMANDED, that everyone else do the same.

I met someone just like that a year ago. She worked at the Framing Guild for a few months with me and I realized how annoying it was to be faced with someone who demanded things be questioned, but in turn refused to have her own answers to these questions challenged. "Cheese and Rice", I said, "I must have been like that too a few years ago!" Now I realize some important truths...that the people I meet who have the most wonderful minds and warm hearts are not those who try to inflict their judgment on every single thing. I guess I did that because I was young and insecure, but it is funny how, in my old age, I have become more secure but less able to demand that everyone agree with me, because I wasn't learning much the other way around. Now, though, lets give credit to those years. I WAS reading the newspaper more often, swimming, running, reading novels, enjoying school and AP classes, and drawing. It was the ultimate stimulation for my brain. But I've come to realize that there is a careful balance that one must attain to question things with others and carefully guide them to do the same, it's an art, one I really enjoy.

So, today I got my lazy bum out of bed at 1:30 pm and went to the gym and now I feel great! I stayed up until 5am yesterday just putzing around and making things. I wrapped Christmas gifts, I made a kick ass card for my dad, I knitted, and read the economist while listening to all three Aria cds that Colleen made for me! Even though it throws my entire cycle way off track, I LOVE those kinds of nights/mornings. I used to do that in high school and the first two years of college all the time: stay up late like some mad artists whose mind is too intrigued and curious to make it stop, and it didn't even matter that I wasn't sleeping because something else was fueling my soul: curiosity and willpower. I did fall asleep a lot in class, though.

So, I did only run about a half mile today as my legs were burning and I wanted to die, but now I feel awesome! I had a good night of artistic and intellectual brain candy and a morning of sweating and hurting. Going to shower and work on the ole' thesis.